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baby shower disappointment (a selfish confessional post)
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SGRAHA
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 04, 2011 5:08 am    Post subject: baby shower disappointment (a selfish confessional post) Reply with quote

Okay i have always been one of those people that thought second, third, etc baby showers were a bit tacky. But now that i'm pregnant again I can't help but be disappointed a little that no one is giving me a shower.
Faith is 5 years old, we got rid of just about everything except the crib, pack n play & a few clothes. And the clothes we did keep aren't really all that helpful since she was born in July and this one is coming in December.

I was totally fine with not having a shower all along, until just recently. I think it's cause i'm so very excited about this baby and even though i know everyone around me is too I just feel like it's sad that she's not going to have a special celebration like I had for Faith.

We don't really need anything big at this point. I've bought used for everything but the car seat. I knew what stuff i wanted and i went to yard sales & consignment stores and found the stuff over the last several months in good shape for 50% or less than the new price. And I bought all the cloth diapers and have made clothing. So honestly for small stuff there isn't a lot we "need" either, which makes me feel guilty for even feeling sad about not having a shower.

I kinda feel like i'm being selfish wishing for one and i just wanted to share it with someone, so if you made it this far in my post, that's all.
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diggin
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 04, 2011 6:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

what about putting on a meet n greet olivia after she is born? maybe more mid-january to beginning february. the holidays will be past and your bond will have been well-established by then. maybe just coffee, tea and some sweet afternoon tea types of snacks that are quick and easy to put together? that way you get the celebration you and olivia deserve, but on your terms. Smile
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 04, 2011 6:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

diggin wrote:
what about putting on a meet n greet olivia after she is born? maybe more mid-january to beginning february. the holidays will be past and your bond will have been well-established by then. maybe just coffee, tea and some sweet afternoon tea types of snacks that are quick and easy to put together? that way you get the celebration you and olivia deserve, but on your terms. Smile


I like this idea! I have a friend that is expecting baby #6 in January. They always do a blessing book, where all of their friends and family come to meet the baby and write a letter to the baby for his/her scrapbook. I would totally do this myself if our house were big enough to accomodate more than the 5 of us LOL.
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kbrown99
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 04, 2011 7:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I was thinking a little celebratory get-together would be nice too.
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 04, 2011 7:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The celebration afterwards is a good idea. And buy your snacks from the grocery store so that you don't stress yourself out over baking. People are there to see the baby, not to critique your food Wink
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 04, 2011 8:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

IN my circle of frineds we have a party for every new baby. Usually before it's born, but after if it works out that way. If it's not a first baby we don't usually give as many gifts, but just get together to celebrate the new baby.
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 04, 2011 9:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I understand the feeling. I've never had a bridal shower or a baby shower (a few friends of my parents threw a grandparents shower for them when I was pregnant last time). I guess it's the party equivalent of "always a bridesmaid..."
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SGRAHA
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 04, 2011 9:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I guess i could do something after but i know after Faith was born i was really not about having people over to the house for a long time, and to have it somewhere else wouldn't really probably work in the winter. I worry too about having a winter baby and all the germs people will inevitably bring around (party or no party, just the regular visitors).
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happy2Bjustmommy
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 04, 2011 9:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I feel that every baby deserves to be celebrated,so i think you deserve one. I had a regualr baby shower for my first child. but with each child after, i had a come meet the baby party and it was fun. it was like a baby shower, with no games. Just a bunch of people wanting to meet my little baby. I did register for my party i had with Diesel, becasue there was 5.5 years between him and my next youngest. I had gotten rid of everything.
I think having a party for Olivia is just fine, and if you feel tacky to do it for yourself, maybe ask a really good friend or family member to help you with it.
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 04, 2011 10:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I totally understand how you feel. I've never had a baby shower and I had 4 children. Would have been nice to have had one. No it's not selfish you are just excited and want to share that.
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 04, 2011 11:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've had 5 babies and never had a baby shower, and been bummed about it every time.
I totally understand where you're coming from.
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 04, 2011 12:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I understand too. I had 5 years in between Angi and Zandria and 9 years in between Zandria and Tabitha. I didn't have anything for either of them and never had a baby shower for any of my 4 girls. It's not selfish to feel that way.
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 04, 2011 1:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I understand how you feel. My last baby was in 2004 and I don't have anything left, except for girl clothes. I gave everything away to my sister and SIL.

My sister says she is going to loan me some of her stuff, but its all in a storage unit somewhere... so who knows if they'll come through or not. Besides, she says she is hoping to have another very soon, so I doubt she can really part with much for long. She's still using her changing table.

I can't afford much of anything at all. No one has purchased anything on my small registry on BRU Sad My mom says she's holding back until we know the gender, but I don't even expect another U/S. And to complicate things, we're not on the best terms with my parents right now and my husband doesn't want them giving us things or money.

This pregnancy has been hard and less than a happy time. No one seems too excited about it.
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 04, 2011 1:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've not heard anything about anyone doing a baby shower for this little one. I had one for my son, but now we are having a girl, so I would really love some girly stuff. I have most of everything I need, and I've made a huge sewing list to get stuff done, and arranged trades for everything else. My mom bought us a new car seat, and my dad will be getting the swing I want, so we are set. But it would be nice to have a celebration of sorts at the very least. If I can't get everything done that I've got planned, I guess she'll be wearing a lot of blue.
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 04, 2011 5:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You're def. not alone Sarah!!

DP's Aunt had a shower of sorts with a few of her friends when I was expecting DS, but we had nothing for either DD. I'm going to plan my own 'welcome to the world' thing after this babe is born. I was raised with the mentality it is kinda rude to host/plan your own baby or bridal shower but everyone else seems to be doing it these days...
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