Teaching humility

[whidbeymom]

My 9 yr old seems to think he's the best at everything and that he needs to flaunt what he has that others don't. I've never put up with this and don't see it this behavior in my other children. He gets stopped and told it's unacceptable every time I catch him acting this way but it's not clicking in his head. I'm tired of it, it just makes me cringe to think my child is becoming that child. Ideas on how to teach this? At this point I'm up for anything!
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Kelly Mom to JM (10-6-02), JR (1-25-05), JT (11-9-06), DR (11-25-09)

[grayspinner]

sounds like you can't just TELL him it is unacceptable. Sounds like you need your consequences to be bigger & more motivating than that. Then again, this also might be part of who he is. There is only so much we can do to shape our kids.
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Melinda
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[kbrown99]

I've found that with my kids, in order to get them to truly understand, I have to help them see it from the other person's perspective. ie. "Would you want to listen to someone else bragging the way you do?" "How would you feel if so-and-so did/said the same thing to you that you just did/said to them?"

HTH.
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Kristina, wife to Ben, homeschooling, SAHM to 5 beautiful kids.

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[alenascott]

Children do not understand easily what is wrong or what is right. Parents have to tell them. But it is not a easy task.

[bbailey]

We are having this same exact problem with my 7 year old daughter. And what makes it worse, her older brother has autism so she frequently beats him (99% of the time) and I feel that is just feeding into her ego. I haven't found a solution that has worked yet
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Brittany~nursing student and SAHM to Cole 3/1/03 (autism), Jaden 8/31/04, Cameron 4/8/09, and Skyelar 11/8/11

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[bellebelle]

i have this problem with my 6 year old DD. she brags alot about what she has to her step siblings. it's not fair to them. she has more because her dad spoils her, her step siblings do not have a living biological mother so they get hurt in more than one way.

we tell her that bragging isn't nice and when she carrys on too long about it we remove her from everyone else and i sit and talk with her about how it would make her feel if it was her without one parent and seeing them get everything and brag about it.
we've had to do this several times but it is getting longer between talks.

the real kicker was when we all went to see Christmas lights and took my mother who has been battling cancer for 2 years and her body has really taken a beating and she looks it. we were going to get out and look closer at some lights where there were other people around and my DD said she didn't want grandma to get out because she has no hair and it embarasses her (my DD) i really could not believe those words came from my child's mouth. i took her from the truck and told her that grandma has been very sick and she lost her hair. her words were hurtful and that we should be thankful grandma is here with us to enjoy the lights this year. DD did appologize and seemed to understand but i know we'll have to talk to her again.

anyway, just keep doing what you are doing and eventually he will get it.
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[percussionsmith]

I think its wonderful that you want to try to solve the problem! Kudos to you mama!

There are a couple really effective books, I think one is the Bernstein Bears "Trouble with Bragging" or something along those lines. Also, what about encouraging him to do something that doesn't come easy to him? He's also old enough to start volunteering. You could go to a retirement home, food pantry, something like that and help him learn some of those humbling lessons in helping others.

He has a right to be thankful for what he has, so maybe encourage him to do some positive self talk. When you hear it or aniticipate a situation where he might start bragging, encourage him to think about where those skills came from, how he got this or that, etc.

If he is bragging about possessions, maybe he needs to earn those possessions in some way?

Good luck mama, and again, great work on identifying it as a problem and encouraging change!!!