Homeschoolers I need help!

[mama2LilynDevon]

I feel like I screwing up and I'm at my wits end. I pulled the kids out of public school because I wanted them to get more out of school. Devon's class was behind in Math and Science and such was getting pushed to the side so they could make sure that stuff for the SAT was covered well. Instead of us moving forward and them learning more, they are falling behind. Well at least Devon is. I find myself spending extra time on stuff he has a problem with just for him to for get everything as soon as we move on.

I pulled them out of school after the first 4 weeks this year. When we started math I realized Devon did not have his addition tables memorized. We spent weeks memorizing these tables so that future work would be easier. He does some sort of addition almost everyday but he has completely forgotten all of his addition tables. He has to stop and think what 6+7 is. Before Christmas was started Multiplication. We did 1-5s and 9 and 10. He basically had them all memorized. Now, he know nothing. They are gone. Due to all the extra time I have spent helping him memorize stuff that he has now completely forgotten, he is now at least 1-2 months behind in Math. I got sick right around the same time I pulled them out of school. Due to feeling so bad we didn't do much in Science or Social Studies. Now that we are really starting to work on it he won't take me serious at all. Today I asked him how many continents there are and he told me 50. He also thought it was funny that he got it wrong. We have been studying continents, ocean, etc. for almost 2 weeks now. He is also way behind in Science. We didn't really start Science until the end of Nov. The 1st chapter is split up into 3 parts. Total we have worked up this chapter for about 5 weeks. Today, I realize he has comprehended almost nothing. I am so frustrated I'm ready to put him back in the public school but right now I couldn't because he is so far behind. At the rate we are going we may finish 3rd grade by the end of July so he can start 4th grade a couple of weeks later. It'snot that he can't do the work. It's that he has no drive to even try.

Lily is a different story. She is not behind. Actually she is ahead. She is doing 1st grade math and is probably closer to the end of Kindergarten rather then the middle for reading. She can easily do the work but she fights me every step of the way. I can give her a sheet of addition problems and she will whine and cry and through fits for an hour or more. The paper will have 15 problems on it and it will take her over an hour to do the first 10. When she finally decides just to do it, she'll finish the last 5 in less then 10 minutes. The problem with putting her back in the public school is I still don't think she can handle the long day. She has been skipping her nap a lot lately but she is going to bed at 8pm and not getting up until 8am. If she went back to public school she would go to bed at 7:30 and have to get up at 6am and might get a 30-45min. nap at school. So we'd be back to the same thing we were dealing with before. Her being border at school and being so tired by the time she got home that she wouldn't be able to do or enjoy anything.

I really don't want to put them back in the public school system. I do not think it is the best thing for them or our family but right now we are all unhappy. I really don't know what to do and I'm hoping one of the long time homeschoolers on here will be able to help me.

I did try us just taking a break. I figured we were all just burnt out. We took 3 weeks off for Christmas and just started back last Monday. It didn't help at all. If anything, things are worse because they want to go play all day and are mad because they can't.

Sorry for the book.
_________________
Amanda, wife of 1, mom of 5

The Color Wheel on Etsy
Facebook

[meowsandy]

(((amanda))) Don't worry about them being at "grade level", just teach them. It's more important that they are learnign every day. That's the beauty of homeschooling. You can focus on thier strenghts and help them through thier weaknesses. What is Devon good at? Help him excell in that. Yes, you will still need to spend more time on the subjects he struggles in, but he can move ahead in the other subjects.

As for when you finish, I actually prefer year round school. Children seem to loose the ability to focus if they have weeks upon weeks to goof off. I prefer to break our time off down into shorter periods of no longer than 2 weeks.

What math program are you using?
_________________
Sandy Homeschooling Mom to 5 great kids
GiftsofNature

[mama2LilynDevon]

We're using ABEKA for math. I like it pretty well. I like that is doesn't move from one thing to another and just forget about what they've already learned. There is constant review. Even though we are doing multiplication and division now there are still "time" problems on he sheets and addition and subtraction. Pretty much everything he has covered so far is reviewed each week. That's why I don't understand why he's forgotten so much. He uses addition every week. He uses multiplication every week. How is it gone? He is constantly getting the review problems wrong because everything that we spent all that time memorizing is gone. I'm seriously confused. I know if you don't use a skill, you loose it. I took 2-3 years of Spanish in school. I remember very little of it because I don't use it. He uses these things everyday though. Why is it gone?
_________________
Amanda, wife of 1, mom of 5

The Color Wheel on Etsy
Facebook

[meowsandy]

Some kids just learn differently then others. Just keep reviewing, and never move on untill he grasps the information. It's also possible that he was lost in the crowd and never fulled understood the previous lessons but the class moved on anyway. You are doing the right thing, just sit down with him and stop him if he startes doing the problems wrong. Use leading questions to help him remember what to do.

Just curious, is he a kinesthetic learner?
_________________
Sandy Homeschooling Mom to 5 great kids
GiftsofNature

[MamaAllison]

I don't have any suggestions for Devon, sorry. But for Lily, if you are open to changing her math around a little, I would recommend reading The Three Rs by Ruth Beechick (my library had it). It is really more focused on the early grades, and she talks a lot about the natural progression of math and how kids progress through the different stages of thinking. Does Lily do better if she does the problems using manipulatives, rather than a worksheet? Her book gives a lot of ideas for how to do math at this age without buying more curriculum, and maybe you could just apply her ideas to the curriculum you are already using (I'm not familiar with ABEKA at all, so can't say for sure). Sorry my kids are pulling me away, I hope that made sense.

One other thing - I have found that homeschooling is really showing me some characteristics in DD that I had no idea were there, even though I've been a SAHM her whole life. One thing we really need to work on is that she gives up easily if something is hard or new - she lacks "stick to it"-iveness. And I see more of my own issues too. I am thankful to catch these things now, but some days I will admit it is tempting to send her to school and let someone else deal with it.
_________________
Allison
Mama to Belle, Dec, and Lissy
Ravelry

[hiding57]

It's probably harder with him because he's had year of going to public school so learning is a chore. I don't have a whole lot of advice but remember that no one in public school will care or put as much effort in as you, so whatever he learns with you he'd probably learn less in public school. Not that there isn't the occasional child who responds well to the public school model but it doesn't sound like he was that either. My brother and I always dragged our feet in math to it took us two year to do fifth grade math. I never did do geometry. My brother is now a financial analyst and I'm a nurse so obviously we picked up math skills eventually. And I coupon which uses math skills and shows me the math skills of the typical public school graduate, like a customer service lady who told me my order was fine because 3+3=7 (I went back another day rather than argue further) or the store manager who I spent 15 minutes talking to trying to determine if the correct sign was the one that said $1 off 1 or $1 off 2 she could not understand that the signs said different things.
Maybe you need to approach it differently? I had a multiplication tables song when I was little for instance, or try another math book, abeka may not work well for him, trying borrowing a different one from someone else or the library and see if it works better?
_________________
Mother DD '07 and DS '09
and It's a girl! feb '11 NAK again
Wife to one wonderful husband

[mama2LilynDevon]

Devon maybe a kinesthetic learner but I'm really not sure. He is definitely hipper active and moves a lot and he likes to do hands on stuff but I don't think he actually learns better by being hands on. Does that make sense? He's always taken a long time to catch on to stuff. It took forever for him to learn his alphabet and numbers but all the sudden it clicked and he was fine after that. The same with reading. He was considered "behind" all through K and 1st grade but all the sudden it clicked and he was reading at a 5th grade level by the end of 2nd grade. He is learning. He's just not retaining it. He knew his addition and subtraction fact up to the 12s but as soon as we stopped specifically going over them everyday he forgot them. Same with the multiplication. We did not move on until he new one set. His 2 or 3, etc, but now they are gone. That's why I was so annoyed when he told me there were 50 continents today. We've been over it. Yesterday he did a map. Wrote the names of the continents on each of them. Colored it, Etc. Today, we have 50 continents. What? lol

As for Lily. She just doesn't want to do it. Plan and simple. She was bored in school. She wanted to learn to do math and learn to read. Now, she's not interested. She does well with manipulatives when she first starts a something new. Like today. She's been doing addition for a while so today she did a sheet that was still addition but it was preparing for subtraction. They problems were something like 9 + ? = 15. I showed her how to do it. She did the first couple fine but as soon as I had to get up to help Devon with something, she suddenly had no idea what she was doing. So then she had melt downs for the next 45 minutes until she decided she was going to do it and then she finished the last 7-8 problems in 10 minutes. She is very intelligent but she is extremely stubborn and highly emotional. Of course her screaming, crying temper tantrums and her repetitively being sent from the room until she can control herself is very detracting to Devon.
_________________
Amanda, wife of 1, mom of 5

The Color Wheel on Etsy
Facebook

[mama2LilynDevon]

Allison, I will look for that book. Maybe we'll make a trip to the library next week if the dumb snow will every go away and the roads will clear. lol I'm going to have to change things around some if we are going to accomplish anything. She's not using ABEKA, just Devon. She's just using worksheets out of workbooks but she has no interest in them right now.
_________________
Amanda, wife of 1, mom of 5

The Color Wheel on Etsy
Facebook

[Jo&Co]

For Lily, I would say, if she has no interest, just drop it for now. I personally don't like to push things at this age. Not that I want them to be able to dictate what they will or won't learn, but I want to try to build a love for learning first, and well, with my 5 year old - I honestly don't worry about it if he doesn't do anything for a few days - or longer. I am trying to follow his lead for now - offering things, but not forcing. I don't need the battle

Now, my 7 year old doesn't have as much "leeway" so to speak. I have more defined goals for him, but I do still try to have things he's interested in, and excited about, and that way he's more willing to do the stuff that can just feel like a grind (ie - math drill sheets, if he needs the practice) you know? One thing that might help Devon with math facts is a game sort of thingy my Mom had for us when I was learning math. It's called Math-It, and it's not a complete curriculum by any means, but just a different approach to learning the basic facts, without having to drill over and over rote memorization. It really works well for some kids. I found a set on ebay for about $30 I think - new would be double that at least, I think.

I'm reading a couple of books that are really helping my whole philosophy of education develop - one is When Children Love to Learn and it is a collection of essays about the Charlotte Mason sort of "way of thinking/educating" and the other is A Charlotte Mason Companion by Karen Andreola. LOVE that one. I really want this home schooling journey to be a joy for our family, and I know what you mean about feeling like you're doing the right thing, yet being miserable. It's so easy to get overwhelmed and discouraged isn't it? Hang in there.
_________________
Jody
SAHM to our treasures:
Evan -- Nov. 2003
Graeme -- Oct. 2005
Torin -- Aug. 2007
Bronwyn -- July 2009
Guess Who -- August 2011

Will knit for yarn!
Casual Raveler

[Ladyluck]

We switched this year to MathUSee and I love it. There are demo lessons you can watch for free online. I was supposed to have one in second and one in third grade but decided that since the rising third grader was poor in math and because the approach is so different, that I put them both in second grade and we will move on up to third grade when they finish this.

There is something about it that just makes sense. I have always been just horrible in math, and for me these lessons are really empowering, I can't wait to get into upper grades with them.

here is the link, it should take you right to the video clips, but if not just click around the site.
http://www.mathusee.com/

eta, I see that the home page cycles through a few headings so wait for the one with the man and it says video demonstration.
_________________
Jody, Wife to Jeff, Mom to Dean, Joey, Jessi, and Joy, ^j^, and Baby Jonny Jumbo

http://hyenacart.com/purplecowcustoms/

[couchhound]

Amanda,

We choose to homeschool for several reasons but the driving one is that my dd1 is very chemically sensitive with asthma - perfumes, laundry detergent smells on people's clothes, dry erase markers, the list is endless. So homeschooling is a choice but we really can't send her to school. I have to homeschool her and make it work. With just her at home, it was easy to roll with the flow, change school to fit her, etc. Now with a baby/toddler, I can't do the stuff I would like and school became a battle. We are almost unschoolers but I feel that she needs to do math and a bit of language arts (like grammar, spelling). A local friend put me on to www.time4learning.com and it has helped a great deal. We still use manipulatives with math because she needs the concrete nature of "things." She reads quite a bit and we do science with nature, cooking and whatever we are doing daily. You don't have to re-create school at home. Ruth Beechick's book "The Three R's" was eye opening for me several years ago. Kids who explore and learn to like learning actually do better in school later than kids who are "taught" to read at 4 and start rigid curriculum early on.

My dd likes the computer grading her better than me pointing out her mistakes on her worksheets. It has taken most of the battle out of school work to do time4learning. Hope you find what works for you guys!
_________________
Ellen
wife to Computer Man, 6-95
mom to Bear 6-02 & Skunk 6-09
Grandmama to a new hounder, Molly
Much Love Amy Dog 4-28-00 to 5-31-09

[CrunchyClark]

Echoing what Ellen says......you don't have to replicate school at home! Many studies have shown that kids who grow up in a stimulating environment can't help but learn. They won't learn at the same pace as their peers in school, but they are learning a lot of things their peers in school aren't. It will all level out. Play is so very important!!!

I've known personally SO many completely unschooled kids who didn't read until 11/12/13 that sat down at 15/16/17 and went through a 'take a GED' prep booklet and were at or above grade level in no time and then moved on to college or tech or working. Basically, everything you 'need' to know when you graduate public high school could be learned in less than 3 mos once you're a teenager. Two of my unschooled friend's chlidren are off to teach English abroad this year! Neither spent a day in public school or were ever 'taught' anything, but they are thriving.

I know 'unschooling' is a huge leap for many. But, it's also important to realize you don't have to be 100% any one method. Do what feels right for your family. You do NOT have to teach them 8 hrs a day.

Live Laugh Love They'll Learn!
_________________
Holly
~Mama~ to boys L (15) & J (11.5) & B (6/25/11)
Surro-mama to C (6) and her twin sibs M&M (4)
www.momufactured.com
www.necessitae.com

[toadallyscrumptious]

I didn't have time to read all the previous posts, but I don't like teaching the way that traditional schools teach. I also don't believe in having kids memorize tables as it doesn't teach them how to get the answer in the first place. We use curriculum that build skills from the ground up with the kids understand why each step of the way. This way if they come across a problem, they know how to go about getting the right answer without having to rely solely on memorization.
_________________
Di Linh - mom to Gavin (8), Evelyn (6), Everett (b 12/01/09), Charm (14), Bunnicula (2), Rosa (2)

Toadally Scrumptious
Toadally Scrumptious feedback

[hiding57]

[mama2LilynDevon]

I think we are going to give the time4learning site a try, mostly for Lily, and see now it goes. I guess I forget that just because she is capable of doing work at a 1st or 2nd grade level, it doesn't mean she should be. She's decided she doesn't like learning and that's not what I want. Dh was talking with Devon last night and asking him questions about his school work and he could answer most everything. I'm beginning to think the destruction of his brother and sisters is the main problem. I am sure he is ADD but I refuse to have him tested and have the label put on him. I think I just need to figure out a way to help him block out the distractions.
_________________
Amanda, wife of 1, mom of 5

The Color Wheel on Etsy
Facebook