prayers please

[Ladyluck]

I've posted before about my mom and her declining health and that we are having to make decisions about her care and living situation etc.

you have to understand that my mom is just flipping amazing, she is my hero, she is just... I don't have words.
this journey of watching her health fail and all that goes along with it has been frustrating and heartbreaking for me.

I spent a week there last month cleaning and sorting and trying to get her house a little safer for her and was due to go back on monday for another week. My sister called me today with some news that is sort of "the straw that broke the camel's back." quick, informal discussion between me, my sis, and my husband has lead us to conclude that the time may have come to stop concentrating on getting her house up to par and just move her up here with us.
I am so blessed that my husband even considers this an option, a lot of men would not be welcoming their MIL with open arms, but he has been suggesting this for a few years now.
I dread the conversations that are to come. She has lived there for over 25 years, that is where her church is, her house is crap but it is in the woods and that is her little piece of heaven. I am just so afraid that even though she would be moving up here with us, it will be one of those things that once you make the older person relocate, they just don't last very long.
We've been talking about this "in theory" for years, us getting a house with an in-law suite, but it has always been for someday.

We have an appointment with the bank on Saturday to see what we can qualify for and then we can start house shopping. Somehow I have to call and have discuss this with her.

I just really need prayers for wisdom, I feel so torn. I do not know how much I can ask my own family to sacrifice in order to care for my mom, but I also know that not caring for her isn't an option. for instance... there is a house for sale right now that would meet all of our immediate needs (well it seems to, I haven't actually looked at it), however, it is certainly NOT our "forever" house. I don't want to push DH into that house simply because it will suit us immediately and then us be stuck with it for years to come, long after my mom is gone, and us not be able to move forward with our dreams and plans for our kids.

We have been working hard on our debt and have made tremendous progress, to the point where it might be feasible for us to begin shopping for our "Forever" house within two years, and that plan did of course include an inlaw suite for her. however, it doesn't look like we can wait that long. It definitely needs to be sooner rather than later.

This is one of the hardest seasons of life I've ever had to face. I don't even have any examples... my grandparents were healthy until they died, I've never watched anyone go through this whole reversal of roles. My biggest concern is her health and well-being, but to try and manage that while giving her the most dignity and independence possible... that is a real challenge.

If it crosses your mind, I would so appreciate prayers and kind thoughts.
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Jody, Wife to Jeff, Mom to Dean, Joey, Jessi, and Joy, ^j^, and Baby Jonny Jumbo

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[kbrown99]

I'm so sorry, Jody. Praying for guidance to the best situation for everyone involved.


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Kristina, wife to Ben, homeschooling, SAHM to 5 beautiful kids.

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[Moonstone]

I think you will be surprised at how well things will fall into rhythm once she's moved in and as for her not lasting long with you guys the stimulation and socialization she will get will definitely counteract the stress of relocation. I use to work in a seniors home and I can honestly say that the was not a single resident there that would rather be in the home than with their families. They just really don't want to feel like a burden so maybe the way to approach it is that this is the best thing for you and for her. I'll be praying that she'll be receptive to your offer and that the universe will provide the best living arrangements for you all both short and long term. to both you and your DH, he sounds like an amazing man!
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Genevieve (no, not the talented one), married to Shane, mama to Miss Mouse and Little G!

[Joyce12]

I'll be praying Jody. I admire you and your dh for being willing to take her into your home. You are an awesome daughter.
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Joyce - homeschooling WAHM to 4 wonderful kiddos Hillcountry Dollmaker Check me out at Lily Pad Landing and Fresh

[Vinca Leaf Quilts]

Oh, big big hugs Jody!

I guess, think about what kind of needs your mom has. Like, just living with you and being around people to help "just in case"...is it enough? Or, is there some things that need to happen, like making sure she gets meds, reminding her to take a shower....like, how MUCH of an impact will it have? And come up with a game plan. Think about what she likes to do right now, and have solutions for that. Like if she likes to play bingo, see how far away the bingo hall is. And, it's true that life is drastically shortened when people go into nursing homes...I don't know about when you move in with family. Depends on how involved in her community she is. How many friends she has there, kwim?
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[indiebambino]

praying for you Jody, that sounds like a very difficult road. Hoping you come to a peaceful decision
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[Just Nikki]

Jody. I am so sorry for all your stress. This must be so hard. I send you many many strength prayers and prayers of peace and love.
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~Nikki
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[couchhound]

Jody! My dad's mom moved in w/ my parents when she was still healthy and doing all her "stuff." It was hard for my mom but also a blessing for all of them. And she had a sudden illness and a quick decline and we were very blessed she was there with my folks.

I will be praying for the right housing situation as well as your discussion w/ your mom.
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Ellen
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