How do you handle get togethers & a special diet?

[squishyHeinieUnicorn]

Hi! Just trying to get some friendly parenting advice/FB about how you deal with get togethers like birthday parties, etc & still manage to maintain your specific diet. The diet is for medical reasons, so we can't just say "it's ok now and again" or "just this once."

Interesed in any advice/FB you have to offer... or past experiences you've dealt with (good or bad is fine - it will help me learn).

TIA
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Krystyna, hippie wife & mom

Spring Mountain Living (blog) Life. Naturally.
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[oakanwillow]

Honestly, it can really be hard. We stopped going to gatherings for a while, but when we started again, I would suggest/offer to bring something pot-luck style. I prefer to have gatherings at our house, and those that aren't keen to eat vegan with us just don't come. I'm ok with that, too.

*squishy hugs*
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Denise/Veggiewitch Lucky Mama to 4 Elflings

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[MunchkinWear]

I've never had to deal with this type of situation, but I would think a straight-forward chat with the hostess would be the way to go.

Let them know that for medical reasons, you need to be careful about what is eaten/consumed, and then discuss with the hostess what they plan on serving, to see if that is something that will or will not work for you and whether it will be easy to attend the function, or if you will have to politely decline. It may also be a situation where they are OK with you bringing your own food, just for you/your LOs.

If I were the hostess of a party and had someone's mom approach me about this in this manner (a nice discussion as opposed to trying to force me to change my menu just for their LO), I think I would appreciate the up-frontness and the heads-up, in case they were able to attend.
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[ehhanninen]

Since my 2yr old had been diagnosed as needing to be on a LowFOD map diet, we haven't been to a lot of gatherings (not ignoring them; just havent had many to go to). But since he is 2, it is easy to fill his diaper bag with snacks that are safe for him. If we are staying overnight at a friend's house, I'll bring a small cooler or lunchbag with safe foods for him.
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[squishyHeinieUnicorn]

We went to the bday party we were invited to without any issues.

We made sure to have a meal first (to help limit desire to snack due to hunger) & talked to the kids about the importance of our diet for our health BUT also explained that it's our choice & they didn't need to make a big deal out of things while we were there (ie if they are offered a piece of cake, they can either politely say "no thank you" or accept it - sometimes people are really insistent - & then bring it to us to take care of). We didn't want to distract from the boy's bday by making any kind of issue. Also, there was water for them to drink instead of the sodas most people were drinking & a veggie tray. I think our kids were the only ones grabbing veggie after veggie.
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Krystyna, hippie wife & mom

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[jennifer.kite]

When DS had dietary needs that couldn't be ignored, I would be straightforward about his sensitivities, allergies, etc. and then offer to bring food for him.
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[mommyto4babes]

I have this problem with DS1 b/c he has severe ADHD and an anxiety disorder that become worse if he is to have red dye. So I am caustious of this and I carry special treats to parties and have a special drink in my purse too. I have been lucky and not had to use them but have always had them just in case.

[sparkynfiesty]

We take our own food 99% of the time. 4 of the kids and I have celiac's disease and the risk of cross contamination is too great. I've taken our own food to family parties, wedding receptions, school gatherings, etc. I just politely explain that it is not safe for them to eat and move on with my business. If people want to look at me funny so be it, if they look to hard they are going to get a very factual lesson on celiacs and why we avoid gluten at all cost.

We do have immediate family and close friends who are very careful and always make sure we have options, but we have some well meaning relatives that are not so careful. I know who's house we can eat at safely and who's we can't. LOL
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[Doodlebrainette]

I haven't been offically tested, but I'm most likely celiac, as well as allergic to dairy. I just take my own food. I try to take a version closest to what the host is serving, if I can, but it is for my own sake. I really dislike sitting at a table where everyone is eating cake (or some other yummy food) and knowing I can't eat it. I always let the host know up front that I would love to partake in the food, but I simply can't due to my allergies. If someone else comments on my personal food, I will explain it to them as well. Otherwise, I just sit and happily eat my sack lunch.
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[Howlemup]

Not our family, but some friends of ours are vegan. Most of the time they just bring their own food. But if I were hosting an event and I knew people had food allergies or a different lifestyle I would try and make something they would be able to eat. But that's me. Where as people like my mom think vegans and vegetarians are weird and they need to eat what they are given :/

[VastlyAdorned]

I make a point to ask about the planned menu, and see if there will be options our family can eat (we're gluten free), if not I will inquire about bringing something to share, or just for my kids (one birthday party I made and took gluten free brownies for my kids since they wouldn't be able to have cake). My friends have been overwhelmingly supportive of our diet changes so far (new in the last year) and have for the most part gone out of their way to make sure there is something we can have during a get together.

[cindiscreations]

I think if you were to talk to the hostess/host of the party and explain the situation 9 times out of 10 they would appreciate the information...when my kids were growing up and had parties I would always ask the parents of the kids they invited if there was anything they could/couldn't eat/drink and then plan accordingly.
My youngest son (all grown up now) is a vegetarian and I always make sure when I make the meals that he has what he needs...he also makes sure he lets others know when he plans on attending a party or get together that he is vegetarian and offers to bring his own food.
Most people are pretty easy going about this and you will probably find that it isn't a problem. Good luck to you all!

Cindi

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