How often do you . . .

[kbrown99]

need/get a break?
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Kristina, wife to Ben, homeschooling, SAHM to 5 beautiful kids.

I love to , , most kitchen crafts, and trade.

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[Elf]

need one once a day typically because I'm a no physical touch person and I get over touched during the day with the children. that's what happens when you have five children and homeschool as I'm sure you know.
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[Shadow]

We have an hour's 'quiet time' after lunch, during the week (home educating my 3 boys). We all go off to do our separate things in our own space. Dh is great and usually takes the boys out for most of the day on Sundays so I can have some time out - it gives him time with the boys too as he doesn't see them during the week.
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Shadow
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[sjccheerdoll]

Ever boil potatoes for mashed potatoes, and do it with the pot cover on? Sometimes it'll boil over and you have to lift the lid and release the steam so it'll calm down again.

I feel like that pot, like, all the time.

I NEED quiet time during the day for both of us. Pirate is very high-needs and extremely intense - awesome kid, it's just the truth - but as a single parent, I don't often get it, and I feel uncomfortable asking for it from others. Every once in awhile I'll get "time to myself" - but that's usually time to catch up on things like work or trade knitting.

I stay up super late most nights just to have that alone time. :/
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Elly
uberyoung knitmaven mama with to the Pirate

[crystalanne79]

I take a break every evening. We have a 7pm bedtime in our house for the kids and we really try to stick to it. Then it is quiet time for dh and I and sometimes we spend it together and sometimes it's just chill out reading time. Housework and business work can wait until we are re-charged.
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[kbrown99]

Y'all are making me feel better. I feel like I need a "break" every stinkin' day. And I've been feeling like a wuss or a baby or whatever because of it. And guilty on top of that.

DH is awesome in trying to give me time off (usually in the form of a bath while wearing noise-cancelling headphones and rocking out to Pandora), but I feel guilty if I do it more than once a week even though I feel like I could use (or even need) it every night.

Just a little background:
I have 5 children (DS1 - 10 almost 11, DD1 - 9 almost 10, DD2 - 5 1/2, DS2 - 3 almost 4, and DD3 - 20 months).

I homeschool the older 2. DS1 has ADHD. He's quite smart, but he really struggles in school. DD1 qualifies as gifted, but the district's definition of gifted education is a complete joke. Seriously they might as well not even bother having it, it's that bad.

DD2 and DS2 are both special needs and attend a SN preschool. DD2 has had speech problems from the very beginning and when she had a new evaluation last year (at almost 5 yo) she was rated as having speech of less than a 2 year old. That's after 2 years of ST at that point. She almost certainly also has ADHD, but we'll deal with that after we get some other things under control. She also likely has a few learning disabilities, including auditory processing disorder (which they can't adequately test for until her speech is equivalent to at least a 4 or 5 year old) and dyselxia.

DS2 is being evaluated/tested and will probably end up with a high-functioning autism diagnosis. That's probably self-explanatory enough.

And DD3, well she's 20 months. Isn't that enough?

Anyway, I just decided to ask everyone because I just feel drained so drained many days and I feel like this horrible parent for feeling that way. Today is one of those days. Not particularly horrible in itself, but just that one straw IFKWIM. Yesterday, we took the kids to the science museum. I knew it would be a struggle, especially with DS2, but we try to do things and just work with it. It was a fight most of the day.

Today was a doctor's appointment for DD2 from where she had tubes put in last year. One of the tubes has come out of the ear drum, but it's still laying in the canal. She's been complaining of it hurting for a week but because there wasn't any drainage they said to wait until this appt and because of the tube, we couldn't give her numbing ear drops. So, it turns out that ear has fluid behind it again. (sigh) The doctor is treating her with 3 weeks of antibiotics to try to clear it out and then he'll see if we need to put a new tube in. By itself, this isn't such a huge deal, but it just felt like it after everything else lately.

And then I realized today just how much DS2's *issues* (for lack of a better word) affect my day-to-day life. I was forcing myself to rush to drop off a library book before picking him up from preschool. Not because I didn't want to take him into the library (they have a drop box). It was because if I did it after I picked him up, I'd have to drive a different way home and I knew I had at least an 80% chance of him screaming and hitting his head back and forth on the sides of his car seat the whole way home (20 minutes) because of going a different way.

Sorry about the long post. I usually handle it reasonably well from day-to-day, but it's just getting to me today.
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Kristina, wife to Ben, homeschooling, SAHM to 5 beautiful kids.

I love to , , most kitchen crafts, and trade.

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Brown Sugar Sweets is still available for trades and purchases. Just PM, email, or go to the BSS FB page

[kbrown99]

Elly, if I lived near you, I'd try to give you a break. My mom was a single parent, but not until I was about 6. She had my grandparents to help, but even then, I know it was hard.
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Kristina, wife to Ben, homeschooling, SAHM to 5 beautiful kids.

I love to , , most kitchen crafts, and trade.

Ravelry Project Page

Brown Sugar Sweets is still available for trades and purchases. Just PM, email, or go to the BSS FB page

[sjccheerdoll]

[kbrown99]

[CrunchyClark]

Awwwwh! I am usually in the opposite camp. Hubby was always offering and me never taking him up, because I don't really need one. I have a high tolerance for touch, noise, and generalized chaos I think. Must have been why I used to run a daycare and purposely subject myself to 6 or 7 kids at a time LOL And, why I never got crazy when we lived in a 200ish sf motorhome with kids and dog.

But, that said...if you NEED a break, you need one! If it's every day, don't feel guilty! Taking even a few moments to decompress will make you a better mama
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[jennifer.kite]

We have quiet time everyday after lunch. I'm have to have some personal space now and again.
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[jwpsgurl]

Depends on the day, but I NEED time to myself most nights! Especially after the bedtime chaos! Yesterday morning I got up early & enjoyed 2 hours of time to myself. I felt amazing and we had an awesome day. I don't have enough patience to deal with a 2 & 3 year old all day unless I get some time to myself. DH works long hours and then works at our new house, so I am not getting any relief from him right now
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[Kristina93]

I need some time to myself every day. Even if it's just an hour after DH goes to sleep and I am sitting up in bed next to him reading and knitting/crocheting.

I also need the time while my kids nap. without that time for me, whether it's a nap for myself or whatever, I go a little nuts. Tomorrow, i won't get that time because I have a dr. appt.

In the last month and a half, DH has been home MUCH eariler than he used to be and he's really good about taking the kids for an hour or so when he gets home to give me a break.

If you NEED that break, you NEED it. Period. And you should get it.

If you were to work out of the home, you would have at least a 30 minute lunch break... why shouldn't you get a break at home too?
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Kristina: Married to DH Mark, DS1 Austin 6/18/08, DD Audrey 12/05/09, and DS2 Cody 6/2/11

[jumpmama]

I need a break every day. DF works a 16 day shift, on call..mostly gone by 5 am and not home until after the kids are gone to bed. So my days are long without much to look forward too. I make a quiet time for DS and I while DD naps and kids are always in bed by 730 so I spend a few hours doing whatever it is I feel like in the evenings. I also NEED atleast half a day at the barn riding or shopping once a week.

I hope you can find time for yourself soon
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erica.loving my kidos.K{july.11.07}.T{june.21.09}.and L{december.17.11}

[ccfibers]

NEED a break? Every day.

GET a break? Hmm... on average, once a week. I go out to knit at the LYS. I leave the house when DH gets home, and come home around 8. a little later if I go to the grocery store. and once a month I have my fiber arts guild- which I often have to bring the baby to.

other than that? I am lucky if I get to go to the bathroom without watchers. forget sitting by myself at all.

and if I DO take a mintue to do somethign alone (like type this post) the 3 year old is pokmng at something I will have to clean up in a minute.
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Theresa, WAHM of 3

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