Nursing Toddler

TriciaC · Posted: Wed Feb 02, 2011 10:39 am Post subject: Nursing Toddler

My daughter is 27 months old and is still nursing. I love that she still nurses especially since I am a WOHM. I feel it is a wonderful way to reconnect after being apart for the day. We also co-sleep and she nurses a night. Honestly, I am not sure how often she nurses at night. Typically, she nurses to sleep around 8:30 in her bed next to ours. Somewhere between 11 and 1 am, she moves over to our bed and sleeps with us the rest of the night.

The issue is in the morning. I try to get up early to shower/get ready before DH and DD wake. Lately, she has been waking up when i get up and pitching a fit when I won't lay back down and nurse her. She may have nursed an hour before and it doesn't matter. She will scream and cry; she won't let Daddy comfort her. She will follow me into the bathroom and cry while I shower. Sometimes, she will forget about it once I am in the shower but not normally. This morning, the idea was stuck in her head. I was able to talk to her and say we will only nurse while Daddy is in the shower and then we have to get ready to go to school. It actually worked. Most mornings nothing works....and I give in and let her nurse as long as she wants. She is very strong willed like her Mommy and Daddy. lol3

I enjoy nursing her in the mornings but don't enjoy the screaming and crying that can come with it. It frustrates DH so much! She won't let him comfort her and he feels helpless. He thinks if we stopped nursing, everything we would be better but I want to do child led weaning.

Some of this is a vent because I feel I can't win regarding DH or DD. But also wondering if anyone has advice on how to stopped the screaming in the morning and the side comments from DH. I just want a peaceful start to the day more often than not.
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Seun Designs Inc. · Posted: Wed Feb 02, 2011 10:52 am Post subject:

Could you set your alarm 20 minutes earlier (painful!) and pretend to get up and let her nurse then?
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TriciaC · Posted: Wed Feb 02, 2011 11:05 am Post subject:

That is a good idea. Unknowingly, I have done this. I will wake before the alarm and she is already nursing and I think she is finished and as soon I get up; she wants to nurse more. She doesn't realize she has just nursed while sleeping and wants more.
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Seun Designs Inc. · Posted: Wed Feb 02, 2011 11:32 am Post subject:

Ds used to do this too and it was hard getting dd out the door to school, so we set the alarm earlier and it made getting ready easier, but I was more tired.
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TriciaC · Posted: Wed Feb 02, 2011 11:36 am Post subject:

I will try it. Going to bed earlier too will help! Smile

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Erin · Posted: Wed Feb 02, 2011 12:04 pm Post subject:

I have been there although I didnt have to get ready for work. I thought the day would never come where M didnt nurse first thing in the morning. It was incredibly difficult if we did need to get out of the house quickly or if I wanted to sleep in ever. Slowly he just dropped that morning nursing time. In the meantime it was hard and there was nothing DH could do to help either.
If she does understand things well I would keep telling her that we can nurse when daddy is in the shower or set your alarm clock earlier.
I hope it gets easier soon.
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geekigrl · Posted: Wed Feb 02, 2011 12:57 pm Post subject:

We used to get up about an hour before we *had* to and nursed. My daughter nursed until she was 36 months, and around 24 months (we had already migrated her to her own bed/room) she stopped coming in to nurse in the morning.

She still nursed to sleep/nap, but not in the morning. We substituted with a bit of warm sweetened milk.

I hope the nursing relationship get's smoother.
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Erin · Posted: Wed Feb 02, 2011 1:02 pm Post subject:

TriciaC · Posted: Thu Feb 03, 2011 10:18 am Post subject:

We have been thinking about transitioning her to her own room. DH would like it to happen sooner than later....maybe now is a good time to try. I would like to wait....don't want to loose the snuggle time with her.

What age were your little ones when you moved them to their own rooms?

Thanks for the thoughts and the reassurance that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
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Seun Designs Inc. · Posted: Thu Feb 03, 2011 12:41 pm Post subject:

Dd moved to her own room by her choice at 2.5. We moved ds to his own room at just over 2, but it wasn't his choice. I had a spinal fusion and we couldn't risk him kicking my back. We struggled and struggled with him not sleeping and just a few months ago, we moved him back to our room with his bed sidecarred to ours and he's almost 4. He's starting to sleep most nights now and I think he just needed to gain the self confidence and have the security of knowing where we are.

In my experience (and it's limited, obviously), the easiest way to move them out is to make sure they are ready. If you make a big deal about her room and she's already sleeping well, you might have her do what our dd did and she'll move out and never come back. It could backfire though and she could become more and more attached to sleeping with you.
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Erin · Posted: Thu Feb 03, 2011 4:13 pm Post subject:

hiding57 · Posted: Thu Feb 03, 2011 9:29 pm Post subject:

Could your dh try getting her up and taking her off for breakfast while you're still *pretending* to be sleeping? When I weaned dd in the morning I had dh get her up and feed her and she wouldn't think of it. She was in her own room though so it was different. she only nursed twice a day as well so she was already on her own way to weaning.
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geekigrl · Posted: Thu Feb 03, 2011 9:39 pm Post subject:

TriciaC · Posted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 1:06 pm Post subject:

TriciaC · Posted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 1:13 pm Post subject:

Thanks for the advice and personal experiences. It gives me some ideas on how to address the situation. Of course, the last two mornings it hasn't been an issue since I posted this.

DH and I have been talking about it quite a bit because when she does this; it makes him late for work and makes me later than I would like to be. We think she may still be tired when this happens. Last night, we put her to bed 1/2 hour earlier and she was an extremely happy camper this morning. I think this is a key factor.

The whole house has been fighting a cold too so I am sure this has been a factor. I know my ears and have been backed up and I am guessing hers have too. So, I am sure an additional sucking helps.

You have planted more thoughts about the bed/room transition. I guess the first step should to put a bed in her room and see if there is any interest. It will never happen if she doesn't have a place to sleep!
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