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Noah Michael
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happy2Bjustmommy
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 20, 2010 12:33 pm    Post subject: Noah Michael Reply with quote

Today i learned that my baby was a boy. we have decidced to name him Noah Michael. I feel differently than i thought i would, after finding out this info. I cant describe how i feel.
I also learned that he had a strange Genetic Y chromosome issue. They recomeneded that my husband get his chromosomes checked. He already had Karyotyping, and this didnt show up. So now i dont know what to think. I was told that this chromosome issue, alone, would not have caused his death, but he would not have been "normal". However. i wonder if it did in fact cause his death. He is my 4th boy, to die, without cause , in the second trimester. I really think this has something to do with it.
I am in such a bad place. I cannot describe how lonely I feel. I am getting just about no support, and my life is expected to just go on. I am hurting, physically hurting, every day. My heart is aching, my arms are aching. I just sit and have blank stares. I am in shock that this happened to me again.

I have enormous pressure to just be normal, to attend church, to hang out with friends, to be super mom. All i want to do is crawl in a hole. My baby is dead, and the world doesnt care.

Every time i see a pregnant woman, read about a pregnancy, a birth announcement, a gender announcement, or even issues involving pregnancy, or the baby, i feel sad. I didnt care what my baby was, or what issues he would have had. I would have loved and cared for him. No matter what, and felt blessed that he was given to me. I dont know what i have dont to deserve this.

To my sweet Noah,
I am so so sorry that something caused you to die. I am sorry my body failed to give you the life you deserve. I am sorry i didnt get to birth you, and give you the entry the outside world that you deserved. I am sorry i didnt get to hold you, to tell you how much i love you, and how much i miss you.
I think about you every single minute. My heart aches, and longs to be with you. The rest of my life seems too long.
I wish you could have stayed with me. I love you.
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Melissa Mom with 11 kiddos. 4 who run on Earth, 7 who soar with the angels.
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Momto3Thatsme
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 20, 2010 12:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm so sorry Melissa, Sad Please know that I continue to think of you and Noah!

huglove
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Maureen
Former Owner of SHLS, and Mom to Joshua (19), Emma (14), & Rebecca (8)


Last edited by Momto3Thatsme on Tue Jul 20, 2010 12:47 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Umm_Abbaad
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 20, 2010 12:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

crying I'm so sorry Melissa, I can't even imagine the pain Hug
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Janet aka Ama
mama to my little man Abbaad 7-7-08 peanuts aren't nuts, they're legumes, a little lady Ayah 11-3-10 peanuts aren't nuts, they're legumes and another boy peanuts aren't nuts, they're legumes due 3-24-13
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Babycakies
Wants to spin nakid




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PostPosted: Tue Jul 20, 2010 1:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

*crying*

Wishing you some love and comfort on this journey.
Blessings for Baby Noah who earned his wings far too soon!
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- WAHM to Peanut(Dec 03), Bean(May 05) and Sprout (Apr 07).

EweWearEmS
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kbrown99
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 20, 2010 2:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't have any words. Just tons of hugs and prayers.

bug hug
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alivals
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 20, 2010 3:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

bug hug
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toadallyscrumptious
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 20, 2010 3:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm so sorry Melissa. Hug
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littleknittles
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 20, 2010 3:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hug i'm so sorry.
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Seun Designs Inc.
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 20, 2010 5:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm so sorry.
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Darcykins
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 20, 2010 5:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Im sorry your in so much pain, its just so not fair for any mother to loose her baby. Im also sorry you have the added stress of an underlying health issue, more to add to your plate.
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Darcykins
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whidbeymom
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 20, 2010 5:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've been thinking about you lately and praying that you find the peace and support you need through this time.
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Moonstone
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 20, 2010 7:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I am so incredibly sorry. I wish that there was something I could do to help ease your pain but please know that your baby boy has left a mark on so many lives here on HC and we all honor him.

Lots of love to you Hug
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nebwhit
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 20, 2010 8:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hugs Melissa.
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crystalanne79
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 20, 2010 8:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm so sorry. bug hug
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jodi_snider
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 20, 2010 9:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

i'm so sorry you never got to hold your sweet noah. (((hug)))
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